I grew up in church, thinking God was an angry old man with a long white beard and an even longer stick, waiting for me to make a mistake so He could give me a whack. I am not sure where this thought originated, but it was lodged in the center of my heart.
Perfection was my goal, dotting every i, crossing every t. No matter how well I was doing, it was never good enough. My focus was on how I fell short. In my mind, my worth was entirely based on my performance.
If someone had asked me if God loved me, I would have thought it a silly question and would have positively replied, “of course.” After all, I faithfully attended children’s church and sang “Jesus Loves Me” hundreds of times. John 3:16 was a Bible verse I had memorized. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (NKJV)
But if someone had asked me if God liked me, the answer would not come as easy. I had a list of failures and bad habits, and wasn’t happy with myself. Surely God found me annoying, as well. At the very least He must be disappointed.
Sadly, this type of thinking followed me into adulthood, until I began learning more about Who God really is and how He feels about me. Scriptures I had read all my life, yet somehow ignored, began jumping off the pages of my Bible. I began to realize God not only loved me, but He also liked me and has spent thousands of years proving it.
“This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.” 1 John 4:10 (MSG)
All my life I had been focusing on my love for God instead of God’s love for me. He did not love me because of what I did. In fact, He loved me before I was born and could do a single thing. God’s love for me also did not hinge upon whether I had done anything wrong. He knew I would not be perfect which is the reason He sent Jesus to take care of my sins.
My relationship with God is based on God’s love for me, and what Jesus has done, not on my performance. That is such good news because God is always faithful, but I am not.
God is not an angry old man with a big stick. He is a God Who loves us so much, He sent Jesus to make the way we could be family.
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